Doing the Buggy Walk for charity wasn’t exactly my first choice. So many amazing people will climb mountains, skydive, run marathons, all of these people inspire me and make me want to do something for charity as well. But I can’t do those things.
When I was pregnant with my daughter I had the idea that it’ll be smooth sailing, after all my son’s pregnancy and birth was a breeze so why would this be any different? At 8 weeks pregnant I was barely able to get out of bed due to severe back pains. I was crying, I couldn’t care for my son and even laying in my bed was painful. My midwife told me to get to A&E and after I threw pain killers down me to ease the pain a little, got a friend to watch over my son for a few hours I called for a taxi and got to the A&E department. I remember sitting on the most uncomfortable chairs ever, but then again all chairs were uncomfortable for me at that moment. Thankfully I was only waiting for no more than 15 minutes when my name was called.
They ruled out ectopic pregnancy but found I had a severe urine and kidney infection that was getting out of hand. Because I was pregnant the doctor only gave me a low antibiotic dose, which didn’t work. The second time round it was put up and it still didn’t work. Finally third time lucky and the highest dose they could give me without fear of hurting the baby it cleared up but it took 3 months of being in pain, barely able to do basic stuff around the house or look after my son and do things mums do with 3 year old boys.
Pregnancy continued and the back pain didn’t subside. Urine infection was ruled out several times and it got to the point where nothing over the counter could work and I took trips to the hospital to make sure baby was okay and to get given pain relief that actually worked. I remember my first overnight stay was an odd one as I was on the ward where women waited to be induced or to have a c-section. There’s no “pregnancy pain ward” and as there was 6 beds in this room and never any more than 1 mother waiting to be induced or have a planned c-section I pretty much had a whole room to myself and the TV remote was within my grasps all the time. My last overnight stay ended up being a long one as I gave birth a few days later.
But now my daughter is 13 months old and my back is still in pain. I exercise gently but enough to help with the pains, but still I can’t go buy food from the supermarket, I can’t load and unload the washing machine, I can’t vacuum the carpet, I can’t hold my children and running is just not doable. I’m still trying to find an answer as to why I’m suffering but I didn’t want it to stop me from at least helping raise money for charity.
And that charity is Lullaby Trust. With my son I could barely sleep as I was so scared of SIDS. I remember waking every 30 minutes to check on him, I would put my hand on him to check he was breathing. And with my daughter I was paranoid too. With the smell of drugs coming through our walls from next door I was freaking out (and sometimes vomiting – the smell was awful!) and she was such a silent sleeper so I was even more paranoid not hearing a peep from her.
I know a Buggy Walk doesn’t seem like much but 5 miles pushing a pushchair is my mountain, my marathon. I’m sitting at my computer trying to ignore my back pain and holding back tears because although it hurts I mostly cry because I’m sick of it holding me back from doing things I want to do. So no I won’t let it stop me, even though it’s just 5 miles and it’s just a walk, I’ll do it. For Lullaby Trust and for Matilda Mae.
Please donate as little or as much as you can to The Lullaby Trust via my JustGiving page. If you’re unable to donate then please can you share this post or my JustGiving page. I want to help reduce the number of babies who die suddenly in their sleep in the UK, but Lullaby Trust needs your help to make it possible. Thank you.